to the man who taught me how to love life again

wp-1462363425337.jpgwhen we first met, i was a wreck, bits and pieces of the old me, strewn everywhere. i lost my confidence, my will. i am just going through life routinely, like a mundane task i have to finish everyday. I locked myself in a cage, where nobody can reach. On the outside, it would look like i got myself together, that my pain is gone, and i am moving on. But the past was just hidden from the world, when i am alone with my thoughts, it was like a hole i dug up for myself, and i return to it every time. I was a wreck and nobody notices.   The first time we talked, i was just, okay, he’ll do. you were just somebody to pass the time away with. You were simply that until, i found myself waiting, anticipating our talks, making time for it almost everyday. What was once my pastime, became my happy time, my time to say everything. How i am feeling, how i am seeing myself, what i want, what i am missing. minutes have turned to hours, hours into days, days into weeks and months. you have been the only thing that’s constant in my life, your youthfulness is contagious, your zest, your vitality. you have an innocent way about you that has made me feel youthful and energized. it would have been better, it would have lasted, we would have counted years, but i wore my heart on my sleeve, and you saw through everything. it may not have lasted, it may not have worked out. but you gave me a glimpse of how i can still be happy, how to love myself again, and how to take and face life with a smile. you taught me how to live. you gave me the best gift anyone can ever give and that is yourself. by showing me vulnerability, you taught me courage, by showing me happiness, you taught me to see things in a new light. i may have been nobody in my world, but with you, i feel like  i am somebody.

i have been through the worst and now, i know that whatever is coming, i can face it head-on. the only gift i can give you, is me living and enjoying life. loving and laughing and moving on.

 

Misery

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Shut out the light
Remain in the night
Keep the sun from shining
Keep the rain falling
I will shed not a single tear
I will swallow every fear
Stand in the shadows of my past
Let not the light pass

Let forever be a nobody
Let me not see its face
Drown me in your sorrow
I know not about tomorrow
Leave me in the darkness
Spare me not any glances

Never look back
Never stray
The scars of my past
A sorrow that will last
Embedded in the heart
Of a love’s great part

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